letters to the editor
Just a few notes I composed in my head on the way to Maine today.Dear Drivers of the Mass Pike,
Fuck you. Learn to drive.
Dear Gas Station Attendants,
Stop staring at me and pump the fucking gas.
Dear People of Bangor,
I highly suggest something in your town besides the Denny's be open after 10 pm, especially on a Friday, or I'm coming back with a gun.
Dear Semi Driver,
I'm sorry I cut you off. I had just gotten off the Mass Pike and you know what that's like. Please do not send your trucker friends to harm me.
Dear Stephen King,
Although I find myself in your hometown and the model of many of the towns in your books, please do not eat me or whatever it is you do.
Dear Elderly French-Canadian People,
Please do not steal all the doughnuts at breakfast tomorrow. I know your ways, and I will not be held responsible for my actions.
posted by The Artist Formerly Known As "Katherine" @ 11:48 PM
2 Comments:
Kate, you must remember that you can't help that gas station attendents will look at you: you're such a hottie!
Also, were you the one that was driving? wow, sweet deal.
Tambien, those elderly french-canadian people are going down. Booya.
Yeah, I drove from Mass to Bangor, ME.
I had to do some fancy footwork to out-doughnut the French Canadians.
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