MUHAHAHA this is all the productivity I could come up with today.
Video will only remain up for a few days, because my internet as well as real life friends are sketchy.
posted by The Artist Formerly Known As "Katherine" @ 5:36 PM2 comments
Sunday, July 30, 2006
it's getting hot in the foxhole
HAHAHA everyone should listen to NPR. Because I hear this:
The Air Force was experimenting and maybe even testing several biological weapons. One of them was an aphrodisiac, and what would it do? It was designed to make enemy soldiers lust after their squaddies, so they would be to busy freaking out over their new found love of sausage to... I dunno, fight, I guess.
I'm not really sure what making the enemy gay would do to help our cause, but it'd be great fun to watch.
No, seriously. That's the best we could come up with. Make the enemy homosexual.
posted by The Artist Formerly Known As "Katherine" @ 2:19 PM2 comments
Friday, July 28, 2006
letters to the editor
Just a few notes I composed in my head on the way to Maine today.
Dear Drivers of the Mass Pike, Fuck you. Learn to drive.
Dear Gas Station Attendants, Stop staring at me and pump the fucking gas.
Dear People of Bangor, I highly suggest something in your town besides the Denny's be open after 10 pm, especially on a Friday, or I'm coming back with a gun.
Dear Semi Driver, I'm sorry I cut you off. I had just gotten off the Mass Pike and you know what that's like. Please do not send your trucker friends to harm me.
Dear Stephen King, Although I find myself in your hometown and the model of many of the towns in your books, please do not eat me or whatever it is you do.
Dear Elderly French-Canadian People, Please do not steal all the doughnuts at breakfast tomorrow. I know your ways, and I will not be held responsible for my actions.
If you eat fake cheddar cheese popcorn and then drink pink lemonade, the after-taste is something quite akin to vomit.
Ye be warned.
posted by The Artist Formerly Known As "Katherine" @ 5:41 PM0 comments
Sunday, July 23, 2006
things have gone from bad to worse
Last night I had a dream about the ablative case. Then I started declining nouns in my head. I wonder if this is a prelude to psychotic behavior.
I have been watching a lot of stuff about the French Rev and the Age of Sail and consequently I found myself longing to be back in European History. Like, intense longing. My chair was right in the sun, and I could clearly see myself sitting there, watching Sam drop the chalk and trip over the recycling bin and listening to Suzie say brilliant amazing things that hurt your brain if you think about them for too long. My father told me this is an example of a Great Happy Place, which is a psychology principle.
I think I should be medicated.
posted by The Artist Formerly Known As "Katherine" @ 8:57 AM0 comments
Saturday, July 22, 2006
I think I should get my hands on a copy of the Book of Revelations. It's freaking me out. (Thanks, History Channel. Your fear mongering is keeping me awake.)
Every day you wake up, there is a 1 in 20000 chance that as asteriod capable of destroying human life will crash into Earth. Sleep well.
I'm sorry to announce, people of Bethlehem CT, but you town is creepy and undesirable. Also, citizens of Torrington, you need some restaurants that don't suck. Thanks.
I saw Pirates of the Caribbean again. Obviously the writing team did not head my suggestions. If they had the movie would have been about Norrington and Gillette and sometimes Groves and would depict their adventures hunting pirates and giving each other longing looks. Oh, wait, that was Dead Man's Chest. Oops.
Update to the list of movies that made me cry: 1. Bent 2. Rain
"Sommersturm" made me want to die. I've never felt as connected with an actor as I did with "Tobi." It's not that our situations were similar, but I felt everything the character felt and I wanted to hug him SO BAD.
NEWEST ADDITION: NaPolA (aka Before the Fall)
This movie shattered my world. No joke. History is written by the winners, and I have waited FOREVER for something like this. It did not disappoint. It was beautiful and tragic and everything a movie should be. I wept like a child at this, especially during the Lake Scene. And with Segfried on the Grenade Range. Favorite scenes: hunting the prisoners (with Albrecht and the Russian), the bathroom scene.
It helped that the main characters were gorgeous, but that didn't make the movie. The writing and the acting did.
Please, someone, please let me show this to you. Someone. I feel like I MUST pass this on. It was beautiful. And Sommersturm. I must show that to someone as well. Please, say you'll watch it.
Did the display font on my browser just get smaller for no apparent reason? I think so.
However some things are the same size. This has caused great debate and anguish on my part.
posted by The Artist Formerly Known As "Katherine" @ 3:05 PM0 comments
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
if you can name this movie, you will be my new BEST FRIEND (in title only)
Whoever tells you wrapping gifts is not the most strenuous and time consuming task known to man (next to soccer and genocide) is lying and does not have your best interest at heart.
Yes, I have finished covering Haley's birthday presents in the only paper I had, and when she sees this marvelous example of human engineering, I had better observe some euphoria. Fake it, if you have to. I know you can act.
posted by The Artist Formerly Known As "Katherine" @ 6:10 PM0 comments
Thursday, July 13, 2006
as homage to phoomaton, tappable footballers
So, in the spirit of great bloggers like phoomaton, this is a list of tappable footballers, now mostly complete as the World Cup is over and I have seen what I need to see.
Would have made the list if I had a picture of him: Cristiano Ronaldo of Portugal Degen twins of Switzerland Bern Schneider of Germany
Two for the price of one: Steven Gerrard and John Terry of England
Sebastian Schweinsteiger of Germany
Mike Hanke of Germany
Arne Friedrich of Germany
Andriy Shevchenko of the Ukraine
Lukas Podolski of Germany
Robin van Persie of The Netherlands
Wesley Sneijder of The Netherlands
Johnny Heitinga of The Netherlands
Tim Borowski of Germany
Frank Lampard of England
Miroslav Klose of Germany
Robert Huth of Germany
Jan Kromkamp of The Netherlands. I'd tap that. (Jan, not the Netherlands.)
Tomas Rosicky of the Czech Republic
I find the Germans on whole to be a very tappable people.
Yesterday I spent my time reading Wilfred Owen's poetry and ordering Haley's birthday presents. The one thing I was worried wouldn't be available was, so that's all taken care of.
But then I thought about trench warfare, and... depressed again. Of course, the beauty that is Der Nationalmannschaft celebrating with their fans did count for something...
Then I had a dream where I was running through a banquet hall and in total panic because I couldn't find my uni. All the other unis were there, and I was going to be late for some activity. Then I fought demons with the guys from "Supernatural."
Before going to bed, I found myself wishing I was back at the nunnery and in class. Wishing I had schoolwork to do. I am ashamed.
posted by The Artist Formerly Known As "Katherine" @ 3:40 PM0 comments
Saturday, July 08, 2006
It is not possible to get "All Quiet on the Western Front" (1979) at any Blockbuster Video in the state of Connecticut.
But we have plently of readily-available Lyme's Disease. So... come for that.
posted by The Artist Formerly Known As "Katherine" @ 9:10 PM0 comments
I have been seeing an alarming upswing in the number of ads for Prince Edward Island vacations. I love that place. It is the last decent place on Earth. I do not think they should encourage Americans to go there. We are crass, rude, and loud, as we must be. We will surely fuck up such a nice place. Everyone there is friendly, unless discussing livestock. Then they become bitter.
They need to stop encouraging tourism. It will kill that fantastic place.
Oh. My. God. There are very few movies that affect me the way this one did. Previous titles of note: 1. Band of Brothers 2. Bent 3. Yossi & Jagger 4. Prisoner of the Mountains
Maybe one or two more that I can't think of right now, but that proves that they probably weren't as important as the ones I can remember.
"Summersturm" (2004) has affirmed my hope in humanity, although that will probably be doused tomorrow by the prevailing cynicism of the expanding lower-middle class that pervades society. I only wish I had the subtitles, because the version of the movie I have has only the original German. You don't need the subtitles to understand the whole point of the movie, or even the content of many scenes, but they would enhance my love of the movie, and that's saying something.
I would learn German just to understand this movie. It is that good and breaks my heart into a billion little pieces. See it NOW.
yes, I stayed up until 2 in the morning to watch F1
I'm watching the repeat of the US Grand Prix, because when it was being broadcast live, certain people wanted to exercise or whatever, so I didn't see it.
What the fucking hell was up with the crash on Lap 1?!?!?! Christian Klien, Kimi Raikkonen, Scott Speed, all taken out. I was impressed by the restraint the drivers showed, not running around screaming "Nicky pushed me into Juan! OMG!" Especially Scott Speed, who seems to sometimes talk from the heart, instead of thinking about what his sponsors would want. He was particularly articulate, I thought.
7 or 8 cars out, and the Formula officials have decided to make the USGP another circus like last year by promising an investigation about the crash after the race. Every driver said it's just a racing thing, but I guess the officials are working on strict orders from Bernie to make the US race seem immature and foolish. God, I hate that jealous ignorant little man.
Raikkonen, Speed, Villanueve out, but Tonio Luizzi is still in? What kind of alternate reality have I stumbled into?
Also, apparently, Nico Rosberg's father was someone spectacular. I would not have known from watching Nico. Next, Nick Heidfeld has the worst luck of anyone ever. Except maybe Gen. Bergoyne. (SMMcT US history shout out!) Third, what the hell is on Jensen Button's face? It looks like he was rescued from a desert island just in time for the race and they simply dumped him into acar.
Scott Speed is beyond adorable. Does anyone know more about his disease?
Did an announcer just insult Christijan Albers? Do I have to smack a bitch? 'Cause I will. No one talks about Christijan like that. Little Dutch boy will kick your ass.
I would so hate for reality to creep back into this blog, but news is slow.
I think I fucked up my ankle today. I was playing softball, three steps away from heat stroke, and I was running drills. Effort, how stupid of me. Anyway, I started to get jarring pain in my left ankle, so I'll have to see how that progresses.
< / real life >
posted by The Artist Formerly Known As "Katherine" @ 3:57 PM0 comments
it started on LJ, then spread to blogger, then myspace, now youtube
Why am I posting so many videos lately? Oh, that's right... I now live on YouTube. No lie.
I really want to go to another New Haven Cutters game. I swear to god, Matt Hackney has the best ass I have ever seen on another human. THE BEST. I don't even go by asses, but that boy knew what he had and used it. That and the fact that he was fucking his pitcher with his eyes... Gave whole new meaning to the "Seventh Inning Stretch."
Anyway, this is why Finns win at life:
posted by The Artist Formerly Known As "Katherine" @ 1:14 AM1 comments
Saturday, July 01, 2006
it is ice-skating Saturday
Oh, hell. This blog is becoming my new LJ, in the IT IS TAKING OVER MY LIFE.
But... Pictures from some sort of training session between a bunch of people, most notably ALEXEI YAGUDIN and his boytoy protege Brian Joubert:
Watch this video! NOW! It is a French thing about Alexei and Brian training in Simsbury, CT in 2004. (Joubert is still technically trained by someone else, but Yagudin mentors him.)
posted by The Artist Formerly Known As "Katherine" @ 9:45 AM0 comments
Oh this has gotten so out of control.
/
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And I talk about boys doing each other. A lot.
I have more friends on LJ.
And I will include favorite TV shows in Favorite Movies, because blogspot hates television.
I watch soccer. Please do not let this affect your decsion to associate with me.
